Friday, November 18, 2022

When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke

 




"To anyone who has ever thought the size or shape of their body made them somehow less. You are so much more!"

Release Date: October 27, 2022
Genre: Paranormal romance, contemporary romance
TW: fatphobia, body-shaming, diet culture, toxic parent, blood, injury, discussion of consent/mind control

Rating:



Summary:

So much for the afterlife.

Twenty-five-year-old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imaged, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or diet (again) trying.

Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily-it's against vampire law-but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike on uneasy truce, fending off other vampires. Lily's work rival turned slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. 

Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire master determined to see her twice dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more?

Review:

I’m definitely a sucker (partially intended pun) for a good book cover. The cover immediately drew me in to this modern-day vampire romance novel. I read the summary and was beyond excited to read about modern day vampires, a plus-size baddie, and a self-acceptance journey with a light-heartened, comedic tone throughout the book.

I desperately wanted to love this book. My high expectations, ultimately, fell flat. Gloria Duke truly had an amazing concept on her hands but shoved too much information into a measly 327 pages. I could easily see this book being split into a duology instead. I think this would have provided a better landscape to allow the plot to develop as well as the characters. However, this was not a duology and thus, must review it as is. Let’s begin:

Lily, our plus-size baddie main character. I immediately was drawn to Lily, her independence, and her body image struggles. I appreciate her independence and strength throughout the book. I also really appreciate Lily’s hilarious commentary. I wish there was more time to see Lily develop as a character though. I thought this book was going to be very profound when it came to self-love and body acceptance, but it did not deliver. How could it have possibly delivered? There was no time with introducing new characters, becoming a vampire, a budding romance, an evil foe to defeat, a vampire slayer to deal with…there was simply too much. Lily went from extreme dieting to loving herself in such a short time when, realistically, this would have taken a lot more time to progress. I would have loved to read through this growth, but it felt rushed.

Tristan, our brooding love interest. Tristan fell short. I wanted to fall in love with this swoon-worthy, modern-day vampire but it missed the mark completely. I was more interested in other characters than Tristan. Even side characters like Evan, Raven, even Gideon had more intrigue than Tristan.

Cat, our smart and beautiful best friend. I really appreciated Cat and Lily’s friendship. What I appreciated more? The small insights into the toxicity of Lily’s insecurities spewing onto Cat and her self-esteem.  Everyone has their own insecurities. I do not care what size the person is or how beautiful someone thinks they are; everyone has their own unique insecurities with themselves. Cat is a beautiful woman whose intelligence is constantly overlooked, even by her best friend. I think it is a great lesson to learn that we all need to be kinder to ourselves and others.

Lily’s mom, our toxic body-negative mother. Lily’s mom has spent her entire life commenting on her weight, buying her too small articles of clothing, and encouraging unhealthy diet culture. Lily can never be enough for her mother. Some of the biggest flaws I found with this book were with the relationship between Lily and her mother. Specifically, that the amount of emotional trauma Lily’s mom has caused is so casually brought up and discussed. While it is admitted that the pair have a lot of work in the future to improve their relationship, essentially, all her previous atrocities have been forgiven. No harm, no foul.  Wrong. It is completely acceptable to cut ties with your mother if it is not helpful for you and your mental health. It is also completely acceptable to never forgive her. A casual apology for your mom about YEARS of trauma is unacceptable. There needs to be physical proof of her educating herself and showing she is changing.

Overall, I really wanted to love this book. I thought it would check all the boxes but sadly, it did not. As stated previously, if we just had more time to really delve into these plot lines and characters, I think it would have been a more successful novel.  I think that it is a light-hearted book that is worth the read but disappointment may await you in the end. Also, if topics such as body image, dieting, or toxic parents can be triggering, avoid this book altogether. 

Quotes:
"To anyone who has ever thought the size or shape of their body made them somehow less. You are so much more!"

"Life was a lot harder then. People looked older. Aged more quickly. But if I understand what you're really asking," he says, "rest assured. No matter how many centuries pass, you'll still look as young and lovely as you do today."

"In case you haven't noticed by now, I'm not one of your beautiful but helpless damsels in distress."

"Lily is that rare combination of beauty and strength."

"And all at once, the body I've always thought was way too big seems much too small to contain my happiness."

"I write about romantic heroines, but Lily, you are my heroine." He strokes his thumb across my cheek, and my whole undead being springs to life. "You are more beautiful, more courageous, and yes, my darling, more maddening than anyone I could ever have imagined. And never have I ever loved anyone the way I love you."

"And when I look up and see the uncluttered racks, the unstuffed shelves, I know, it's actually a win. I mean, when you let go of the things that squeeze and poke and pinch at you, it opens up room for all kinds of other things to come into your life. Better things. Things that really do fit."



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